serendipity

#7

ABLAZE

EVERY PROMISE YOU BROKE
IS A PROMISE HE GETS TO KEEP

RESPECT IS MORE THAN HOW YOU ACT IN PUBLIC
HE RESPECTS ME EVEN MORE WHEN WE ARE IN PRIVATE

HE HAS DONE EVERYTHING THAT
YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO DO AND MORE

I AM MORE MYSELF THAN YOU
EVER LET ME BECOME

I AM NOT SMALL
I AM NOT WEAK

I AM CONSTANTLY GROWING AND CHANGING
I HAVE THE POWER TO CREATE MY OWN IDENTITY

MY LOVE IS WARM AND PURE
NOW MY SOUL IS ON FIRE

I CAN FINALLY BE FREE OF YOU
I CAN FINALLY BE HAPPY

#6

up

my body aches from
the sleepless nights
from the fiery eyes

I WAKE UP AND
PUT MY FEET ON
THE SOLID GROUND

you won’t leave my head
my heart races and blood rushes
are you following me?

THOUGH MY KNEES
WOBBLE AND SHAKE
MY BONES HOLD MY WEIGHT

it is time for my own eyes
to have the fire
it is time to get my life back

I CAN STAND UP
BY MYSELF NOW
I DON’T NEED YOU ANYMORE

#5

forgiven

my voice is small
but my words
are not weak

i forgive you.

#4

nightmares

my eyes can never leave his
we are in a room with no windows or doors
YOU’RE HURTING ME
if i try to stand he pushes me down
his eyes are burning
YOU’RE HURTING ME
i can’t stop bleeding
my body goes limp
YOU’RE HURTING ME
despite the scorching blood and the pain
i feel so cold

#3

blame

it is my job to suffer
it is my job to bleed
it is my job to be a good girl
just like i’ve always been
it is my fault for letting it happen
it is my fault for not fighting back
it is my fault.

#2

pain

it hurt.
not only the first time
but the second and third and fourth time
no doesn’t matter
no doesn’t count if it’s not a word that he wants to hear
no is only a word that he is allowed to say
only he is allowed to dictate what we do and when we do it
only he can feel pleasure
only he can feel loved

#1

him

if you don’t have sex with me, you don’t love me. i’ll give you until march to have sex with me. why can’t you show me that you love me? all of my friends girlfriends have sex with them. you can’t talk to other boys. why can’t you take a fucking clue. if you don’t have sex with me, i will tell everyone what he did to you. no one will love you. i am the only guy you are allowed to be close to. she always let me touch her there and she was more conservative than you. why don’t you love me? you have to have sex with me if you love me. you are going to have sex with me.